Wanted: Best Friend

Wouldn't life be so much simpler if we could just place want ads for best friends and have interested parties answer? I think that it would be...

I've had several "best friends" in my day. Seth and Ellen were childhood friends whose last names I don't even remember. Beth and I fought all the time until we got sick of it and each other. Then there was Erica, who kept moving and, therefore, kept falling out of touch. I have no idea where she is now; she could be anywhere in the world, literally.

Then came high school. There was Misty, who was a lot like me, and kept in touch until she went to college. Then she changed her name, her hair, her way of dress, and her friend set.

There was Kelli, who was a nice, but odd, girl who didn't really have any friends either, so we sort of gravitated toward one another. I don't know why we fell out of touch, but we did.

There was Mary. Mary was pretty and popular and wanted to be friends with ME. I couldn't understand it. She hated my boyfriend, though. Funny, after my boyfriend and I broke up, she decided that she wanted to be friends with him and completely cut me out of her life without any warning at all, and then she started heckling me in the hallway. I never understood that one.

There was Lisa. Our friendship just couldn't withstand an abusive relationship (that I was in), the distance, and my abrupt change in religion. Religion meant more to her than me. But the reason we're not friends any longer is 95% my fault. I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I wasn't there for her when she needed me, and I still regret that.

There was Shay, who would have been a life-long friend had cancer not cut her life way too short.

And then there was J, the latest one. I loved her so much - not romantically, just as friends. I could see us being friends forever. I could see me attending her wedding, I could see my (future) kid(s) calling her "Aunt J," I could see us being little old ladies writing crazy letters to one another about the fun things we used to do when we were younger. That wasn't meant to be, apparently. J has all grown up, and now she has "grown up" friends and a boyfriend, and she doesn't need me anymore.

I really have rotten luck in the friendship department, it seems. Either that, or there just aren't life-long friends like I have been led to believe. Maybe they are just a Hollywood legend too, like so many other things are.

I'm not sure what I would put in my want ad, if I could.

Wanted: Someone who doesn't treat me like I'm expendable.
Wanted: Someone who will be there for me like I'll be there for you.
Wanted: Someone who won't toss me to the curb because you don't need me any longer.

That doesn't really seem like I'm asking for too much...but apparently I am.